I struggle with reading things correctly. Missing things. Not asking the right questions. Do you?
I feel like today with social media, texts, non-verbal communication in general, we read more into something than was intended. Maybe that needs to be a whole other post.
Wednesday at work, I was looking to file 3 papers in correct places: A/P journals, check registers, and journal entries. I had 3 papers, one of each goes into each binder. Yet, when I was looking at the titles of the papers, I couldn’t see correctly. I couldn’t find the one that had A/P GL entry on top. I must have looked at those 3 papers 12 times before I finally saw it.
Now, we can always roll right past moments like that and think we are having a ditz moment, or we’re tired, or we are in a hurry, or our brain power is running low. But even in the small, silly things, I look for God’s presence, His promptings.
Because if I miss Him always in the small things, how can I possibly go onto the big things, the calls of obedience?
And in that moment, I needed Him. I had already failed that morning with impatience for my children; for acting like children. Aren’t I supposed to be fostering that?
I had failed with frustration in my daughter and her struggling in math, and feeling like a failure as her teacher. Mostly because she was frustrated, not because she didn’t know how to do it. Yet the enemy entered, and I just knew it was because I wasn’t good enough.
I had failed because just a few nights before I had prayed with Eric about my words building her up and not tearing her down, and cried because I knew. I saw the pain in her eyes when I sinned. Said the wrong thing. Blasted with words when she needed to be blasted with love: mine and God’s.
And in the frustrating filing moment, I knew He had something for me. Maybe for you?
“I am enough,” He says. You simply need to be still and let me work. Let me be your strength. I am love poured out, let me pour it out through you, to your children, your spouse, your world.
Today I hear Him, in the song bird outside my window, in Eric, singing around the house preparing to help lead worship this Sunday, in my children planning a dance party in the next room, even in the finances I’m looking over today. Because it all comes from him.
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